Geoffrey Zamboni:

Having retired from admin positions in health care, including managing an HIV/Primary care clinic, I finally have time to enjoy a passion I have always had. Having moved to the Palm Springs desert recently we are finding an environment unlike any I have ever experienced…empowering.

For me it's the Eyes (short story)
Love Not Acknowledged (poem) 
The Dancer (short story)
Unconditional Love (poem)
Regret (memoir) 
Charlie (Novel: First Chapter and Second Chapter)

* * *

For me it's the Eyes...

For me it was always the eyes. Don’t get me wrong... my roving eyes never missed a tight well-rounded butt in jeans or a well-packed crotch. But I can’t help it. The very first place I look is into a guy’s eyes.
I was rushing back to my office just off Michigan Avenue when it happened. He looked at me and I could not look away. It was as though he had me hypnotized. I felt my palms get wet and suddenly I was breathing very fast. His eyes seemed to be boring into my soul. I felt dizzy and completely vulnerable, Just then I ran into a parking meter – crotch high on this street - and got the wind knocked out of me. Several passers-by just smiled and shook their heads. When I finally composed myself, he was gone.

DAMN!!!! How fucking stupid! IDIOT!!

There had to be at least a hundred people on the sidewalk. Looking around at the backs of people and the various doors around me trying to decide where he might have gone, I suddenly realized I didn’t even know what he was wearing. I only knew that he had the bluest, most piercing eyes I’d ever seen. That he had black hair... I knew. That he was fucking hot...that I knew. That he’d undressed me...I sure as hell knew.

I went back to my office and spent the early afternoon alternately working and going into a near stupor reliving those eyes and that feeling. I had to find him.
Sure, this is Chicago and you‘re going to just walk out on Michigan Avenue at precisely 12:15 tomorrow and he’ll be waiting for you! Get a life!
The phone rang snapping me out of my daze. My secretary announced that my 3:30 was there. I told her to bring him in thus ending the afternoon’s reveries. The meeting lasted until after six and with all the follow-up work, it was after ten by the time I stopped and had time to think. My sidewalk stud was simply a memory by then. During the three-block walk to the parking lot, I realized I was exhausted. Thank God, it was Friday and I had no plans for the weekend. I drove home on autopilot.

Turning into the underground parking garage of my building, I punched the remote control and waited for the gate to open. I parked the car in my spot, got my gear and took the elevator up to the twelfth floor. I had just purchased this place from an estate sale. It had a kick-ass view of downtown Chicago and the lake. Things were still strewn around as I hadn’t had time to unpack fully and I really needed to buy some furniture along with things to spiff it up. The bane of all gay men’s existence...what colors to use?  I was never much into all of that but I could always appreciate good taste and a well-placed bit of color in a room.
Looking at the clock, I realized it was well past eleven and the cumulative effect of the fifteen-hour days I’d put in all week hit me. I landed this job on a fluke and I wanted to shine. The only way young attorneys get ahead is to burn it.

I hung my suit up and tossed my boxers at the laundry hamper. Standing at the mirror, brushing my teeth, I took stock of my body. I’d been working out a lot lately and the effort was showing with cut abs and nicely defined muscle groups overall. The muscle definition of the lower abdominal cuts down to my crotch that I always found that so sexy on other guys had finally shown up. I’d always been thin and reasonably well built but not until the past year after I’d turned thirty did I zero in on the fact that other guys were beginning to show very defined muscles. In self-defense I’d joined a gym after moving here.

My bathroom had full-length mirrors all over the place so I could even see my butt without turning around. I felt I had a nice ass and it was getting tighter as the work out sessions progressed. I’d only given that up to another man once before and vowed I’d never do again it until I found “him.” My cock was a little better than average and not too thick. At a little under seven inches (we all measure it at some point, don’t we), I got a lot of compliments that it was a beautiful dick. The last guy I went out with couldn’t get enough of it. He got me off three times during the night with just his amazing tongue. I realized, sadly, that was months ago.

I clicked off the light and stumbled to bed. I always sleep naked. I had even slept that way when I was a teenager. My Mother finally stopped barging into my room after she realized I’d be spread eagled with a tent post holding up the sheets most of the time. As I drifted off to sleep, I felt those eyes again. I could have sworn I felt him kiss me before I finally gave up the day. His lips were incredible and I know I went to sleep with a raging hard on.

When I woke up, I still had a hard on which was screaming for relief. After a momentary panic attack, I realized that in fact it was Saturday and I wasn’t late for work. I turned over to look at the clock and rolled onto a very wet, sticky mess. Suddenly that dream came flooding into my consciousness.
He’d come to the side of my bed and stood there naked. He had an amazing body. He was beautifully ripped. He had a very nice cock that was hard against his stomach. He looked down at me with such fire in his eyes. He was fucking gorgeous. He had black curly hair, cut chin and those eyes.

Damn! Those eyes!  

He pulled me into them and I lost all sense of time. He bent down and his lips touched mine. I felt his tongue enter my mouth searching for mine. I love to kiss and I think he could have gotten me off with only that. He got onto the bed straddling me so that his dick was against mine. He lay down on top of me and the shock of him was unbelievable. His tongue was working its magic while his hands began to explore my body. I held him close running my hands up and down his back stopping on the curves of that beautiful ass. Somehow the rest of the dream got lost and I guess that’s when I must have shot all over the sheets.

Just reliving that and stroking had gotten me to the point of ejaculation. I shot high and it landed on my face, my hair and on the headboard behind me. I kept cumming and cumming, load after load.

Holy Shit. This was so hot. What if he were really here?

I was jolted back to reality when the phone rang. I madly scrambled for a towel or something. I had jizz all over my hands and didn’t want to mess up the phone. I gave up and used the pillowcase realizing the bedding was a lost cause anyway.

I picked up the phone hearing “Hello, Son.” Leave it to Mom to call at the darndest times.

“Hello, Mom.” I was still wiping cum off my face and out of my hair.

“Are you all right? You sound funny. Are you alone?” She always opened up conversations with that question these days. I couldn’t decide if she was simply being nosey or hoping I’d settled down with a girl.

“I’m fine Mom... and I’m alone.”

“Well you know how I worry out you up there in that city. I’ve left three messages this week and I was getting concerned. Are you working too hard? Are you getting enough rest and eating well?”

My family still lived in Champaign, South of Chicago. I’d gone to college at the University of Illinois and it wasn’t until law school that I’d left home. Even though I’d been on my own for nearly five years now, Mom was still...well, Mom. She was worried that her only son would, at the very least, get mugged.

“I’m just fine Mom. Thanks for caring. I’m sorry about not calling back but I’ve been getting home really late every night this week. We’ve got a new client and the partners have given his account to me. So I have to excel and prove myself.”

“Well, don’t let them work you to death.” I held my breath, as I knew what was coming next.

“So, is there anybody special in your life yet?”

The word anybody in her sentence was always in italics. She was always afraid to actually ask whether it might be a male or female. We’d had THE talk about two years ago when her prodding of me to date a family friend’s daughter got way out of hand. There had been tears and guilt and all the usual stuff

My Father, ironically enough, seemed to take it in stride more than least outwardly. He was almost stoic about it. I later found that he had gone for a long drive after we had our talk. Long drives for Dad, meant that he was sorting things out as he couldn’t put whatever it was into focus easily. He continued to hug me and kiss me every time I came home, but never asked anything more about my personal life. When I graduated from law school he was there in the front row whistling and clapping his heart out. The fact that he had a gay son never again came up in any form. Mom on the other hand, was always trying to set me up with the latest local femme fatale when I came home.

Smiling, I said, “No, Ma. I’ve been too busy. You’ll be the first to know when I find that special guy.”

Changing the subject like taking a corner at sixty miles an hour, she said, “Your Sister’s birthday is next week. Are you coming home?”

Lindsey and I were always close. She and I had talked for four hours after I told Mom and Dad. She was full of questions in her special way. Nothing ever seemed to faze Linds. She just charged right in, got answers and made her decision. At the end of our conversation, she got up, hugged me and said. “Well, you’ll find the right guy for you. You’re quite a catch you know.”  I’d told her, “Thanks, Linds. You’re super.” She and I never missed a beat in our love for each other.

“Mom, I’ve called Linds and told her I can’t. My caseload has increased and they don’t think vacations are part of being a junior attorney at the law firm. She’s OK with it. As a matter of fact, she’s going to come up for a brother and sister weekend soon and I’ll make it up to her then.”

“Well, all right.” I could hear the disappointment in her voice. “Well listen, Mable is on the way over and we’re going shopping, so I should let you get on with your morning.”

The cum had dried by now and I knew a shower was needed along with the usual weekend laundry.

“Thanks for calling, Mom. Give my love to Dad. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Her voice was back to normal again and I knew she’d moved on to the day at hand.

I stood up, grabbed the sheets and pulling them off the bed noticed that the mattress cover had also been slimed. I pulled it off too. Opening the drapes I was treated to one of those beautifully clear days when Lake Michigan was calm and blue. It was a typical Saturday for downtown Chicago. Things were moving, but at a slightly slower pace.

Making coffee, I decided I’d get a workout in before the morning got away from me. I didn’t see any need to shower, as I knew I would really need one after the gym. I washed my face and dunked my head under the faucet. Deciding to shave later on, I threw on my shorts, a tee shirt and grabbed my socks and Nikes. Picking up my keys and the coffee mug, I headed out the door.

Coming around the corner of the hallway to the elevator, I nearly knocked over one of my neighbors. He was an older guy in his late forties, very good-looking and probably gay.

“Hey stud, be careful,” he laughed, picking up his briefcase.

“Sorry,” I said, “I was just in a hurry and wasn’t paying attention. You so seldom see anybody on the floor.”

“Heading for a workout?” he asked. “I don’t see you much anymore.” He was checking Out my legs and crotch as he spoke, confirming my suspicions.

“They’ve got me chained to my desk these days. Listen, I’m sorry, but I need to jet. My trainer,” I lied, “won’t wait for me if I’m late and he’ll charge me as well.”

“Maybe we can hook up for coffee or a drink sometime,” he said as a cute crooked smile played across his lips. He seemed nice enough and I wasn’t deleting the possibility of an older guy, but I knew the chemistry wasn’t there for me and I didn’t want to lead him on.

“That sounds great. But, I’m just really loaded down at work these days and don’t have much time . . . even for taking people up on nice invitations.”

I could see he got the message. “Well, OK. I’ll see you around then. Have a good workout” I could feel his eyes on my butt as I walked away.

With relief the elevator doors closed as he was still watching me. I had thought I’d seen him up in the Halsted area with some twink on his arm one night and I didn’t feel like investing energy in something that would go nowhere, even as a friend. I hit the garage, got in my car and headed out to the gym.

The gym was about three miles from my condo so the ride went quicidy. Finding the last parking place in the lot, I thanked the parking gods and beeped my car locked as I headed into the gym. Even though it was only eight in the morning, the place was rocking. There must have been thirty people there already into their routines. I signed in, hung my keys, grabbed a towel and found a spot to stretch where I could scope out the members. Besides the usual crowd, including the forty-year-old woman who hit on me two weeks ago, there were some new guys. This crowd was the serious workout group and nearly all of us were in shape and had our own routines set up.
I decided to do cardio and some upper body this time, so I headed over to the treadmills. Finding one open between two young women, I got on, set it up and began my workout. The ladies had both said hello when I got on and continued to check me out as I began running. After a minute or so, they backed off realizing I
was seriously into my run. I began to tune out the music and everything around me as I got into the run. I kept flashing back to Mr. Eyes. Damn, I wish I could let that go!! I felt myself getting an erection even as I thought that. Launching into an all out sprint, I quickly worked myself to the next level to get rid of the fantasy. Gradually the hard run had its effect and I settled into a mental state of near meditation. I don’t know how long I’d been that way, but I had drenched the treadmill thoroughly when I came back to reality. I also realized that the women had left and a guy had come on to the unit to my right.

God, he's cruising me! Just what I don’t need. I didn’t dare look over. I tried catching a reflection in one of the mirrors, but we were at the wrong angle.

I finally gave up and looked over. SHIT, it’s him!!!!!!!
I felt myself lose my timing just as he looked over and smiled, fixing me with those eyes. I totally lost it, skidding off the treadmill into a pile on the floor behind it. He was instantly next to me, helping me up. I could smell him and his hands felt incredible against my skin.

“Are you OK?” As he helped me up I came within inches of his face and I found I couldn’t speak. I just nodded. “You have a problem with parking meters as well, don’t you?” he said, smiling.

Idiot!!!! That was all I could think. 

“Whoa! You’ve cut yourself,” he said. “Hang on. Don’t move.”

I looked down and there was blood running from a gash in my knee. He was back with the first aid kit and the guy at the desk who had the mandatory incident report and clipboard in hand.

 “Shit,” I said, “How fucking embarrassing.” Mr. Eyes, just smiled at me as he bent down to dab some Methiolate on my wound. “Jesus, that stings,” I said.

He was eye level to my crotch which seemed to have a life of its own these days. As he dabbed my knee and began to bandage it for me, he glanced at my crotch, which in spite of the jock strap was growing. He just grinned and to steady me, put his hand behind my knee on the back of my leg. He squeezed it very gently, which had an exponential effect on my dick.
“I’m sorry.” I said, finally coming around. “What a jerk".
The desk clerk had been writing furiously all this time and finally got around to asking my name. At this, my knight with the shining eyes looked up expectantly. “Mark Stevenson.” I said, looking down at him.

“And yours?” said the desk clerk to the guy at my crotch. Melting any resistance I might have had, he looked up, at me, not the clerk and put on the most beautiful smile. Fixing me with those eyes, he said, “Brad. Brad Ford.” Our eyes were locked and the moment seemed like an eternity.
Grinning, the desk clerk said, “Now that you two have been properly introduced, could you sign these for me?”  He was obviously getting a charge out of this. I blushed and reached for the proffered pen and clipboard.

I looked back at Brad who still wore this huge smile. He took the clipboard and after signing his name and handing the board back to the clerk, stood up so close to me our noses nearly touched. “Well, Mark,” he said, “How about a cup of coffee next door?” I found that this stupid grin had plastered itself on my face and I couldn’t seem to change it.


The phone rang making me jump a foot off the bed. I’d had this great dream again. It was the same one I kept having now.

“Hi Mom,” I said, not even bothering to find out if indeed it was she.

I crunched the pillows up behind me and settled back to talk. Looking around the bedroom, I was pleased that things had come together as well as they had. I’d purchased some nice art from a local gallery including a couple of sculptures. The bedroom had double doors that were open to the living room that had become a beautiful room. It had been a year and things were very much in order for a change.

“So, how’s work.” She was stalling again, I could tell.

“What’s up, Ma?” I said, grinning.

“Why nothing. Just wondering how you are. Can’t a Mother call her only son and see how he is. It’s Saturday and I know you sleep in a little so I thought I’d catch you home. Your Aunt Geraldine and Uncle Gene are coming for the holidays. It’s been a year since you were home for a weekend and I was hoping that.., well.., you would plan on coming a day early and spend it with Lindsey, your Dad and me.” This last part came out in a rush of words. “Lindsey said she had a great time with you when she came up,”

“Yes, we had a great time. It was so good to see her.”

Mom was really fishing around this time. Her whole tone was curiosity incarnate. I was smiling in spite of myself. I turned over in the bed and reaching under the sheet, grabbed a very nice butt. A sleepy groan greeted me and the nice butt snuggled into my hand.

“Mom, his name is Brad. And...yes we’ll be glad to come a day early.”

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* * *

Love Not Acknowledged

Of boyhood friends there are many
Good, bad and even some you covet
But the one you wish not to lose
Inadvertently, somehow is lost.

Don, after three years of full loving friendship
We parted for the first time
Two years flew by and finally…a visit
We again loved each other
Then…again,  it is time.

Railroad station…
People all around, your brother and sister-in-law
You reached out to hold me against you
To treasure that last moment and I…
…stood back and shook your hand.

The look on your face
Alone and torn
In the window of that railroad car…
Tearing us apart never, never will leave me
…I cried the miles home.

Go to the top

* * *

The Dancer

Jonathon watched as the guy danced. He hoped that he wasn’t being too obvious but he could not quite control the smile that had found its own life on his lips.

Besides being gorgeous, the guy was really intense in sexy way that made everything around him seem irrelevant. He had been dancing with a partner who, like Jonathon could not take his eyes off of him. The guy was dancing with an uninhibited hip gyration which did everything to show off his bubble butt and well stocked crotch. He was probably just less than six feet and well built in a slim sort of way. He had taken his shirt off as the hot Key West sun was beginning to get to all the dancers on the pier. That was what made Jonathon turn to get a better look. He could see his face every once in a while when he threw his head back. His eyes were beautiful and extremely penetrating.

Suddenly without warning, the guy looked right at Jonathon and held his gaze. Jonathon felt suddenly weak and the color washed out from his face. The guy was fucking gorgeous and those eyes were soooooo sexy. Jonathon could not avert his own gaze. The guy did not even waver, but kept looking while a smile crept from the corner of his mouth.  Jonathon realized the guy was smiling at HIM.  He felt like his own smile was plastered on his face permanently.

Jonathan was standing near the outdoor bar at the side of the pool and pier that Papillion’s used for their afternoon tea dance.  Suddenly he was bumped by a passerby and found himself dangerously near the edge of the pool.  He glanced down to be sure of his footing and moved to get out of traffic. He gained a spot against the bar where he could prop himself up and looked back at the dance floor.

His heart stopped as he realized the guy was nowhere in sight. He was sure that the way the guy had looked at him showed that he was really interested and now there was an empty space on the dance floor. His dance partner was nowhere in sight either.

Oh well, so much for that, he thought. He moved over to the bar and ordered another beer thinking he might go walk the beach nearby. He received his beer, lifted it and took a swig when a voice at his ear said, “Hey.”

As Jonathon turned, beer still in air, choking, he saw it was the hot dancer who now stood at his elbow. Trying to recover Jonathon turned beet red and grabbed a napkin off the bar to cover his mouth and try to regain his composure.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you that much,” he said with a grin.  The grin was infectious and Jonathan found himself matching it in spite of his embarrassment. “I couldn’t help but notice that you were watching me out there.”   Jonathon felt himself blush as he looked down at his shoes and his new friend’s ample crotch.  “Don’t be embarrassed, I noticed you earlier too and then you caught me staring at you.”

The guy still had his shirt off and his pecs were nicely defined with a subtle six pack.  With the press of people around, they were forced close to each other, hips and thighs touching. The guy reached down and took Jonathon‘s hand, held it a moment and looked intently into his eyes. Jonathon thought he would melt.  To add to his red face, he realized his crotch grew instantly with the touch. The guy looked down and noticing the bulge, smiled and held his hand even tighter.

“Put your beer down and let’s dance.”  Seeing Jonathan’s embarrassment about his ever growing bulge, he smiled and said.” Don't worry about that, it looks really nice and the rest of them will be jealous of me dancing with a hunk like you.”

They moved out on the dance floor with the guy pulling Jonathan along behind him. Jonathon felt like he was dreaming. The smooth motion of that beautiful ass as he followed this guy onto the pier was more than he could handle at this moment and his cock seemed to get even harder. The guy never Iet go off his hand and when they finally reached a spot on the floor, he pulled his hand up and kissed it before letting it go. Jonathon was floored by what he first thought a hokey move, but then after a look into guy’s eyes, he realized it was a very tender gesture. The guy smiled and began dancing, never taking his eyes off Jonathon’s. Jonathon almost forgot about his raging hard on, until he caught several people nearby looking and grinning.

He tried to conceal the bulge, but the guy pulled his hand away and said, “Don’t. Look at: me and dance.”  Jonathan couldn’t help but notice his partner had acquired a bulge as well which made him smile

They seemed to float out into their own world and Jonathon was mesmerized by this guy’s eyes, so tender and lustful at the same time. Jonathon felt himself being mentally undressed and yet their eyes never broke contact.  The music was great and the pier seemed to move to the beat of the people on it. They had danced through at least three different dance numbers before Jonathon began to come around a little. He was surprised to see that the rest of the guys on the dance floor had backed up and given them room so they all could get a better look. They were a striking couple and very sexy together. Their animal magnetism could be felt and people were struck by how good they fit together.

Jonathon noticed that the guy’s pants had an even more defined bulge. That made him feel a little better as his had not diminished at all.  He could not stop grinning. This guy was a total turn on.  The music stopped while the DJ remixed some songs.  The dance floor began to clear a bit with some guys still looking at them from the sidelines. The guy stopped and looking a bit vulnerable moved slowly toward him. Jonathon shivered as he felt the guy put his arm around his waist and their cocks touched through the fabric.

He put his head on Jonathan’s shoulder and whispered in his ear, “You are so sexy”.

“You’re not half bad yourself. Do you have a name?”

“Yes, it’s Kevin.”

“Hello Kevin“, Jonathan said with a growl and pulled his partner closer to him.  With his arms around Kevin and with the dance number the DJ chose, Jonathon felt their cocks set up a wonderfully sexy motion.  Kevin felt it too and he moved to enhance the motion. They danced for a while, rubbing each other and holding each other’s asses as they danced. They had been dancing for several minutes like that, much to the enjoyment of the crowd when Kevin started jerking a little.  Jonathan suddenly realized that Kevin was close to an orgasm. He tried to pull away as he himself had been near several times but controlled it.   Kevin held him even tighter and gyrated his hips so their cocks were side by side rubbing hard.  The contact and feeling was incredible and they both had their eyes closed, holding each other humping vigorously to the music, oblivious to their surroundings. Realizing that he was going to cum and that there wasn’t a whole lot he could – really wanted – to do about it, he held tighter to Kevin and buried his face in Kevin’s shoulder and neck. Kevin put one hand on his butt and held the back of his head with the other, tenderly licking and kissing his neck.

Kevin kept building and did not want it to end so held off until he felt he was going to nearly scream. “Come on let it go. Let me feel you cum,” Kevin was whispering in his ear.  It was all he could do not to scream out loud as Jonathan felt this incredible volcano building up. He felt himself letting loose and pulled Kevin so hard he grunted in spite of himself. He let it go finally and shot load after load racking his body with convulsions.  He thought he was never going to stop and felt like he was going to pass out.  Wave after wave rocked him as he felt Kevin begin to climax. Jonathan felt Kevin’s load through the fabric of his jeans.  They slowed the motion, both nearly out of breath.  Then Kevin starting breathing hard and said, “I am going to come again “Jonathan pulled back and looked in his new lover’s eyes as the two of them were locked together, totally unaware of their surroundings.

Jonathan couldn’t believe it was happening like this. It was the best sex he had had and he wasn’t even undressed and was on the dance floor with a hundred other guys. Kevin rocked again and again.  Jonathan began nuzzling Kevin’s ear and found that licking it drove him crazy. Kevin finally began to relax after several more orgasms began to decrease in intensity.

They held each other tightly and did not move for some time just reveling in the incredible feelings they had just experienced.  With a jolt, Jonathan suddenly realized that the music had stopped and they were completely surrounded by a circle of guys watching.  There wasn’t a sound as all of them were mesmerized by the total sexuality of these two hot men they had just watched.

Suddenly, one of the circle began to applaud. Then the rest quickly took up the applause to a thunderous noise with hoots and hollers thrown in. Kevin began to laugh. He kissed Jonathon deeply which brought cheers from many around them.  Jonathan suddenly fully realized what a mess the fronts of their pants were. As they pulled apart the crowd realized exactly what had happened and went nuts with applause, hooting and hollering even louder. 

Jonathon grinned and pulled Kevin in to him and kissed him deeply again. The crowd couldn’t stand it and went crazy. The music started up again and with the kind of total abandon only a gay group could handle, everybody was dancing again, smiling and admiring the duo who were still kissing.

Kevin looked at Jonathon and said, “I have never had such group sex before.” They both burst out laughing. “I can’t wait to undress you and get you into my bed.  I sure hope you are staying the weekend and you have no one to answer to.”

“I am yours “Jonathon almost found himself saying much more and thought the better of it. Kevin must have caught the thought and, stopping, looked deep into his eyes and kissed him passionately, his tongue exploring every inch of Jonathon’s mouth. 

“You must have cum a gallon.  Look at your pants.”

For the first time Jonathon looked down at his pants and indeed they were really wet from the belt and even down one leg. As they left the dance floor all the guys were smiling as they kept looking at Kevin and Jonathon’s wet pants.  They were walking past the pool and Jonathon said, laughing, “I can’t handle this”, and dove into the pool. Kevin spotted a friend of his and tossing him his wallet and watch dove in joining Jonathan.

Kevin dove into the pool and getting behind Jonathon held him in his arms kissing his neck. By now many who had watched the earlier “dance” were at the edge of the pool hollering, “Take it off”.

Kevin pulled Jonathon to him and they embraced in the water. The crowd would not let up. Kevin smiled and told them they would have to wait for the next show. Good-naturedly, they withdrew and left the two in the water by themselves.

Jonathon was having a reality problem. He could not believe a hot man like Kevin had actually “made love” to him in front of God and everybody. He looked into Kevin’s eyes and found something there he hadn’t seen in a while. It was not only a little disconcerting, since they had just met, but frightening as well. He thought he saw…love.

Kevin jumped out of the pool, chasing several guys away as he shook off. He reached down and gave Jonathon a hand up. Their clothes were sticking to their bodies and left little to the imagination. Both stopped to admire the other and just smiled. Someone threw them both a towel and they dried off. Jonathon realized that his cock, while down some, was still rigid. It was very well outlined against the linen pants he had worn to the dance. Kevin was clearly very interested in it. Jonathon smiled, “Later, it’s drained.”

Kevin said, “I’ll bet I could get it going again in short order.” Jonathon could only grin, “I’ll just bet you could.”

The two left the dance area with Kevin’s arm around Jonathan’s neck not caring who they would run into on the street. After all, it was Key West. Jonathan had his hand in Kevin’s back pocket feeling that hot ass.  Knowing he had an ample supply of condoms, he was thinking what a night it was going to be…and he wasn’t even high or drunk.  His cock agreed with him as it was hard as a rock…still. They looked at each other…neither being able to wipe the smile off their faces. Their different streets came up and they were most reluctant to part.

Kevin pulled .Jonathon to him and said, “Tell me where I can find you. I’ll be ready in about an hour.”

“Next street over and two houses up. It has a concrete wall around it. You can’t miss it.” He hesitated, “You are going to come, aren’t you?”

Kevin looked almost hurt. “Just you try and get rid of me now.” He kissed Jonathon, much to the dismay of two passing sets of tourists. “Go get those buns dry, I want to explore every inch of you tonight.”

Turning to go, he stopped, looked Jonathon up and down, whistled and grinned. He walked up the block and Jonathon Just stood there, grinning himself and watched those pretty buns move as Kevin walked away. As Kevin turned the corner, he let out a whoop so loud that it caused everyone within two blocks to look around.

Jonathon laughed out loud and turned to go to his friend, Dennis’ house. Dennis was a full-fledged Conch, having lived in Key West for many years. He owned a guest house and several buildings he rented out to various tourist shops. Jonathon knew Dennis would just eat this up and couldn’t wait to get to the house.

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Unconditional Love

His cute white tail was wagging as he moved along the trail
Only my eyes could see him...
I picked up my other furry boy and we hiked further along
Suddenly I noticed that my little white friend
Was several hundred feet above the ridge I was on
I was surprised he was still moving, almost running now
He had never left my side before...even after...

Day one we wanted to keep him a dog
Penning him up in the kitchen behind a gate at bedtime
Howling, crying, forlorn having been left alone...
Silence.  Good, he settled down.
Suddenly panting at my bedside
Those eyes looking up at me.
Again, back behind the gate wondering how he got out.

More disconsolate noises, crying and barking....
Looking up and at the bedroom door he sits
Cocked head and those eyes.

Picking him up I get a proliferation of kisses
Never again the gate or kitchen
Bedtime prayers with puppy kisses as I kneel
In bed, sleeping quietly contentedly by my side.
Sleeping with our backs together, protecting each other
Switching to face opposite directions when one or the other moved.
He was always there with me, watching with those beautiful eyes.

Late in his life
Tumbling and bouncing down the stairs to the landing
Rushing to pick him up and seeing wide eyed fear

Time had begun to take its toll on my friend
So many years of unconditional sweet love
Gut wrenching decision time...
Alive - for me or for him

The Day
The Vet at the house
The shots
In my arms
Falling, falling, falling...away
Into sleep...peace

Two weeks later
Prayers and kneeling at the bedside
Sudden wet kiss on my cheek
Was my cheek wet I asked


He walked on that trail above
Looking  down at me
Those eyes
That love
Good bye for now
Waiting in that Rainbow Pasture for me
When my time comes


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His face was drawn, shocked and hurt. After boarding the train and finding his seat, he stared at me through that dirty window. I’ll never forget his eyes as the train pulled out of the station.  I didn’t know it at the time, nor had I even considered it, but I would never see him again.

I felt numb.  I couldn’t believe what I had just let happen.  To this day, I do not like myself for having been so totally insensitive and unaware

As I watched the train leave, his face, then the window and finally the car he was in merged into an unemotional piece of machinery winding its way out of the station into the dirty streets of Detroit.  I just stood there, transfixed, until Don’s brother let me know it was time to leave.  I think he and his wife knew only too well what I had done and the impact it had on their brother.  I suddenly felt sick.  Once I settled in the back of the car, I sat wide-eyed not seeing anything all the way back to Monroe for the full hour and a half drive.  They didn’t mention it but talked quietly and animatedly among themselves leaving me to my misery.

It was one of those dreary, Southern Michigan days when it was time for Don to go back to California.  I was sixteen and Don was fourteen.  He’d come back to the lake for a summer visit with his brother and his brother’s wife.  Don had grown up there. However I had only moved there with my step-father and mother about two years before this awful day. 

I was overjoyed to see him at the beginning of the summer.  His visit was a total surprise.  He showed up on my doorstep with that grin of his one day shortly after school was out for summer vacation.  We swam, water-skied when we could sneak his brother’s boat out, made French fries and watched old horror movies until four in the morning.  We often fell asleep on his couch sprawled all over each other, too sleepy to care.  The summer wore on and it was an idyllic time for us both.  I, in my usual fashion, never planned further than a day out, so I put off the notion we would have to say good-bye.  I was very good at that kind of escaping.  After all, the future was scary.  Hell, each day was scary with my family.  One learns to live for the moment when it’s pleasant and escape into whatever fantasy works when the drunkenness starts.

There were only two people in my life during those tumultuous years who mattered to me.  Only two who gave me any kind of love.  Don was one and Ron was the other.  Looking back, I know they knew each other but the three of us never connected on any level.  Ron’s parents were very wealthy.  Don’s and mine were not.  It was the scheme of things.  Ron and I connected because we had a cottage almost on top of the dock where his parent’s yacht was kept and because we found the deep trust two friends develop over time.

That awful day we left in the morning to get to the train station in Detroit.  Don was meeting his mother in Chicago and from there they were going to California.  I can’t remember the city they had settled in after leaving Michigan.  I can’t even remember why they left.  On the way to the train station, Don and I sat in the back seat of his brother’s car, not really talking but still feeling connected and very sad.  The last thing I wanted was to have him leave.  How I wish I’d been able to tell him.  It wouldn’t have changed anything, but at least he would have known.

We got to the platform and stood around talking.  Don had his usual cockeyed grin on his face when he looked at me and his brother.  Kathy, Bob’s wife, was hugging Don and even his brother managed a hug off and on during the wait.  The train was finally being cleared for boarding and Don turned to his brother and sister-in-law to say good-bye.......leaving me for last.  I didn’t have a clue.

He turned to me with a very sad expression and I could swear his eyes had teared up.  I know mine had.  He said how great the summer had been and how much fun we’d had.  He said how much he enjoyed being with me again.  He reached out to hug me, and I  ......... stepped back...... and instead, shook his hand.

If I had slapped him, I could not have hurt him any worse.


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Chapter 1 – First Encounter

The feeling started at the base of my spine, deep and visceral.  My whole body was tingling.  I was afraid to look around to see what was causing this feeling.  I proceeded as quickly as I could toward my friend who was waiting for me about halfway out on the dock.  Kevin had called and asked to meet me on the Santa Monica pier before we went out on our usual Friday night bar hopping routine.  My walk carried me at an angle toward the walkway where there were easily a hundred people on the dock. It was a typical Friday night high energy crowd having fun and blowing off steam from their work weeks.

Suddenly I became aware of the cause of my feelings.  I could see him out of the corner of my eye. He seemed to be going the same direction as I was which was doubly disconcerting. I knew exactly which person emanated this feeling which I now realized was frightening me. I didn’t dare look.

We were finally standing almost shoulder to shoulder.  My whole being was aware of him.  Instinctively, I knew he understood not only who I was, but my relationship with Kevin.  Kevin was almost animated with his nervousness and something else I could not quite fathom.  When the stranger and I stopped in front of Kevin, having come upon him from different angles I couldn’t even look at him yet I knew, or felt, him appraising me.  He hadn’t turned his head, yet I knew he was examining me.

Kevin, who was quite beside himself by this time, looked at both of us.  “Jeff”, he said. “this is Charlie.”

At that I turned, as did Charlie.  I was shaken to my soul.  I felt myself pulled into his eyes.  I tried to look elsewhere but could not. I felt, and thought I saw, centuries of feelings, people and places in those eyes. But he looked only about 28.  He was incredibly handsome and I understood what Kevin meant when he said that I would never meet anyone like him in my life.

The lights on the boardwalk were never flattering as they burned too bright.  But looking at Charlie, he was absolutely stunning.  There was something else I couldn’t really put a name to...something eerily disturbing. His eyes were boring into my consciousness and I was aroused as I had never been.

He reached out to shake my hand and I found myself nearly paralyzed.  I could not stop looking at his eyes and his face.  He smiled, still holding out his hand.

Kevin broke my trance by saying rather loudly, “JEFF!”

Snapping out of the other world I had entered, I looked at Kevin, then at Charlie. What happened next was both frightening and the most erotic experience I had ever had without actual body contact.  His eyes became even more intense.

“Good to meet you. Kevin has told me so much about you.”

I felt his voice more than heard it. There was something so deeply disturbing, yet erotically attractive about him. When he reached out to shake my hand and I hesitated so long that both he and Kevin looked at each other quizzically.

I finally found the courage to offer my hand.  He hesitated, then, looking me directly in the eyes, took my hand.

When I took his hand it felt like I lost consciousness.

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Chapter 2

“I am sorry, but I have to leave as I have an appointment”.  Charlie faced Kevin.  He then turned to me with those eyes looking into me.  “It was really nice meeting you.  I wanted to take the time as Kevin said what a great guy you are.  I apologize.  Perhaps we can meet up again?”

This last statement came to me as, “We will meet again”.  I knew he said it differently but that’s not what I heard.

Smiling and holding my gaze for what seemed like an eternity, he turned and walked toward the end of the pier.

Kevin and I both looked at him wondering why he was not leaving the pier but going out to the end of it.

“Maybe he’s meeting someone at the other end”, Kevin said, looking a bit unnerved.

“WHERE did you meet him?” I asked.

“That’s the strange part. A week ago I was in that music shop on Santa Monica Blvd. near Lincoln. I thought I might get a new guitar and mine needed tuning and then I got in a conversation with the owner about maybe taking some lessons.  You know they offer them there and they have some of the hottest artists as customers.  Why two weeks ago I saw…“

“KEVIN!  HOW did you meet him!!?

Kevin looked up and stopped in mid-sentence and chuckled. He knew when he rambled on and on it got on my nerves.  Kevin and I met in a summer class at USC in 2011 with both of us studying, of all things, French.  We needed a filler to meet requirements to graduate next year.  His French was horrible.

After class on day, he ended up asking me, “Que diriez-vous d’aller boire un verre?”  I later learned he had a translation website set up on his phone.

“A drink?” I asked.  He looked embarrassed and glanced back at his phone.

“Sorry”, he said, grinning.  “Yes. Would you go for a drink with me tonight?”

We ended up running around West Hollywood for five hours and he ended up having to call a taxi to get home. We had many other nights hanging out.

Last week he was all agog with having met Charlie and was ranting on about how hot this guy was and what a great time they had had.  He said I HAD to meet him and he’d set it up.

Kevin stopped his giggle fest and said,” While I was in the music shop I heard this incredible music someone was playing in one of the acoustic rooms.  The door was ajar so I could look in a bit.  This guy was running the strings like I had never seen playing some classical piece I’d never heard.  Well, suddenly he saw me looking at him and stopped playing.”


Kevin seemed to pull into a trance of some sort and stopped talking with his eyes fixed on some far away scene.

“Uh, Kevin.  Earth to Kevin,” I said.

He snapped back to reality and said, “Sorry.  I can’t put my finger on it but he always affects me that way when I think of him and that first meeting.”


“Well, he came out and asked what kind of music I liked and if I liked what he was playing.  I told him I was really impressed and wasn’t anywhere near that good. We got to talking about classical guitars and he finally said that we should get a drink at the bar around the corner.”

Expecting some sort of date conversation I waited.  Kevin was back in his trance mode.

“Kevin…you’re acting really weird about this.  What happened?”

“You know, I am not really sure.  We had a drink and made some small talk. He was vague about where he was from but wanted to know everything about me.  Honestly, and this is the odd part, I don’t remember much else of the evening.  I think I drank too much, called a cab and woke up in my apartment.  I was fully dressed. The really strange part is that my car ended up back in the carport.”

Now I began to be freaked out.  “You mean you drove out to the music store, parked there and after the bar, you don’t know if you drove home or not?!”

“I really don’t. He called the next day and we met again for lunch this time.  He picked me up in…are you ready?  A new Bentley!”

“Wow…so this guy is really rich?”

“We went to this restaurant just North of Wilshire and near Rodeo drive.  Valet service for the car and everything.  I think it was on Brighton something or other.”

Just then a couple of guys came past from the end of the pier. They were talking about some guy who had a yacht meet him and then it took off at some incredible speed.

Kevin and Jeff turned and  looked at each other.

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