Shiralyn J. Lee:

Read at: Smashwords

Loving the Pink Kiss



      That night I went to the Pink Rainbow club by myself. It was full of women having a good time so I sat at a table in a corner and watched the activities going on around me whilst drinking a pint of beer. It felt strange to be more on the masculine side rather than my usual girlie self, and I could see that I was being eyed up by more than one dyke, so maybe showing off my pecks really was the way to get noticed. 
One woman came over and introduced herself as Chloe, she would never be the type I’d consider hunting but she did have a nice look about her and I felt comfortable when we were talking. She had green eyes and long mousey brown hair that covered her broad shoulders and she constantly kept flicking her curls with her hands. It was annoying and frustrating to not be able to tell her how that was a turn off. 
      “Have you been working out?” She asked and gave my arm a quick squeeze. “I do love a fit woman.”
      “Yeah so many people are noticing.” I said in a cool fashion; flattery was a good way for her to secure a small portion of my attention.
      I didn’t give her too much information about myself; I just listened to the chat up crap she had to offer and while she was going on about her past girlfriends and to be honest did I really give a shit; my thoughts turned to Robbie and how this girl held no comparison to her. The only way I could get the woman I loved out of my mind was to get laid by as many girls as I could, and start having a good time; I had to shut this dyke up she was driving me insane with her boring useless information so I got straight to the point; “So do you want to fuck now or later?” Pretty straight to the point I thought.
      She replied; “Wow you’re not shy, are you? The answer is yes, I want to fuck you now.”
      “Then take me back to yours so we can get down to business.” I’d already forgotten her name, but that didn’t matter too much as she was so busy planting her wet sloppy lips on to mine as we sat in the back seat of the cab.
      Her place was small and dingy and she obviously didn’t have too much money to spare on decent furniture. I had no intentions of making her feel good so I just went through the motions of what was needed to be done. The sex was unemotional and it felt like I had a duty to carry on to the end. I stayed for a few hours and then left while she was still sleeping. As soon as I got home, I immediately jumped into the shower and cleansed off the guilt that I felt dirty and disgusted with myself, something I had never found to be in my former non caring days.
One night stands used to be ok for me, but since meeting Robbie my whole outlook on life has changed. For a start I was actually beginning to have morals, well sort of if you don’t count last night or my liaison with Jen; twice! And my personality had become much softer, which that fact is true, but all the time I wanted what I had just lost. Being told that time is a great healer didn’t work for me, my feelings for Robbie only got stronger each day, and I was now at the point in my head and my heart that I wanted to say the words, I love you to her, and for her to reciprocate them back to me.
      The following morning the post arrived and in with it was an invitation to a wedding. It was from Jessica. She and Jake had decided on a date, rather quickly I thought, but then who was I to be a judge on the love tracker. I called her immediately to congratulate her, although I did have my nagging suspicions about their relationship and whether it was for real, I never let on. She asked me to be her maid of honour and I squealed as I accepted the offer. We spoke for ages, and I was finally able to pour my heart out to her about my female conquests, and the humiliation that I had recently gone through. She was good at keeping my secret confessions that I had made, and I felt kind of relieved to have shared them with her.
      The weeks went by and the morning of Jessica’s wedding had arrived. I could see the excitement in her eyes; she was glowing and looked so beautiful in her fairytale gown that had been adorned with crystals and beads and the long veil finished off the look quite romantically.
“I love him Sarah.” She said as she picked up her bouquet of lilac and white flowers. “Now put your dress on before I get all tearful.”
      I put on my lilac strapless dress that she had bought me, and these cute little silver heels. My hair was pinned up on top of my head with tiny wispy bits cascading down and caressing my cheeks and small white flowers complimented the look.
      Our ride to the church was in a white Rolls Royce, and didn’t we feel special. Jessica’s dress took up most of the room of course and I had to keep patting it down every time she moved. We just kept looking at each other and laughing. Comments about my wedding day were flowing; literally at my expense, and it all seemed quite funny now. 
      During the service; actually Jessica was just about to say I do, I received a text message. My phone didn’t have one of the quietists ring tones and I got a lot of disapproving looks and a few comments from the other guests; shame on them for being more interested in my goings on rather than being focused on the bride and groom.
      “Oh my God, it’s her.” I yelled out without thinking; my voice echoed throughout the church. It was a little embarrassing to say the least.
      A man sitting behind me told me to shush. How rude was that! Jessica turned around to see what all the fuss was about.
      “It’s from Robbie.” I mouthed; excited that she was finally contacting me.
      She gave me a pleasing smile and then turned back around to carry on with her facade; I mean ceremony. I on the other hand couldn’t believe that I was reading a message from Robbie. Finally, finally she wanted to see me. The excitement was all too much and I couldn’t contain myself so I rushed outside to reply back to her. Now that was showing consideration to the other guests wasn’t it?
      Ok tomorrow at Kate’s then, I wrote. I gave a momentary pause before sending it, still in awe that the woman I had fallen in love with had contacted me.
      This day just couldn’t have got any better for me, and wearing a beaming smile for most of it, I found that I had attracted the attentions of one of the male guests. He made it perfectly clear to me what he wanted to do to my hot body, so I flirted with him a little before telling him that I’d bet him fifty quid that I could end up in bed with the dark haired bridesmaid before he did. He took the hint quite well I thought. The word lesbian only spattered from his mouth once.
      I chose to drink only one glass of champagne the entire day as I wanted to look refreshed and beautiful for Robbie, and turning up with a hangover was completely out of the question. I was going to look so gorgeous that she would realise that she’d made a huge mistake and would pull me into her arms and never let me go again.
It was 11.30 pm and I really needed to make a move and get home so I thanked Jessica and Jake for such a wonderful day and managed to get a ride with the bridesmaid that I had bet on earlier. As we drove away I saw the look of surprise from the man who had tried to pick me up, so I gave him a really big wink and blew him a kiss. 
I had only managed to get a few hours of sleep due to the excitement of seeing Robbie today so I put two slices of cucumber over my eyes to freshen them up and gave myself plenty of time to get ready. I used the most subtle choice of makeup and put on the lightest scent of perfume. I knew that Robbie liked that kind of look on me. Remembering that she liked me in my white button up shirt that showed off my bra, I chose to wear it with a tight pair of black trousers, giving me the look of a professional business woman. I now felt more in control of the situation and the only thing that was left for me to do was to figure out what I was going to say.
      I called a cab and a short time later I was standing outside Kate’s front door. My heart was beating fast and I found it hard to control my breathing. The palms of my hands were clammy and my nerves kicked in just as I rang the doorbell.
      I could hear footsteps approaching on the other side of the door and I cleared my throat ready for the big speech but as it was opened rather aggressively I received a horrifying shock as I was faced by the one and only vindictive Jen. My heart sank as she glared at me. Could I not get this smug bitch out of my life? She stood elegant and silent with her hands firmly rested on her hips.
      “I’m here to see Robbie.” I said with a stern voice. “Kindly step aside, I know my way in.”
      “She’s not here.” The words she greeted me with snapped out of her mouth instantly and she held no regret when she saw the hurt look on my face. “She’s out with Kate and she won’t be back for hours, but she did leave these documents for you to sign. That’s if you still want to.”
      She reached at a table behind her and then shoved some papers into my hands, and told me to sign on the highlighted parts. As I looked them over I could see that they were from immigration. It was down to me whether Robbie stayed or not. I hesitated for a moment before signing each page and then handed them back to her quite resentfully. She had probably been privy to my personal information and now knew everything about me.
      “Be quick Sarah.” She snarled impatiently. “I’m just on my way out to meet a really hot chick. Say if you’re not doing anything today I’m sure she wouldn’t mind us having a threesome: so how about it lover?” She licked her lips like a salacious hot slut in a porn movie would. She actually made me shudder.
      “You really make me sick.” I screamed so loud at her that it made my throat hurt and I had to pause momentarily. “Why don’t you just crawl into a corner and die.”
      I quickly turned about with my head held high and walked away with dignity, not letting her see the tears filling up in my eyes. I had foolishly believed that I was going to be reunited with Robbie. That cow Jen must have told her all about our sexual encounters and relished in the pain that she was causing me; just because she could. I know that that information would have hurt Robbie immensely, as Jen had unwittingly become her nemesis. I had fallen into the web of deceit and now I was paying a hefty fine for it.
      I began to cry uncontrollably as I walked down the street and I held my stomach tight as a sickened feeling overwhelmed me. I grabbed my mouth hard so no one could hear my cries of woe. My makeup was streaming down my cheeks and making my eyes sting and my legs were turning to jelly as I felt as though I was just about to collapse. 
      I hadn’t heard Kate’s voice calling me from the other side of the street. She had spotted me in my distressed state and tried to get my attention. As she managed to get to me, I fell into her arms with an awful feeling of nothing to live for. 
      “My sweet Sarah, what’s happened?” She said in a comforting way. “Are you ok? Come on let me take you home, we can talk there.”
      It was the last place I wanted to be but I had no choice. She sat me on the couch and passed me a pack of tissues and a box of fine Belgian chocolates to boost my sugar level and I managed to scoff them in one fowl swoop: but as the chocolate melted in my mouth it dripped down my chin and stained my shirt. Once I had finished sobbing, at least to a more controllable stage, I managed to tell her about my arrangements with Robbie, and how Jen had managed to weave her ugliness into the situation. 
      “I mean if Robbie didn’t want to see me, then why the hell didn’t she just post the papers?” I carried on sobbing as I looked at Kate for answers hoping that she had some insight to Robbie’s actions.
      “But Robbie went to meet you. You sent her a note saying it was of great importance. She must be waiting at the coffee shop now.” She informed me as she tried to relocate the note that she had read.
      “But Kate I never sent her a note.” I replied totally confused and quickly joined her in the search for this mystery piece of paper.
      It was then that Kate realised that Jen was at the core of all of this. She had kicked Jen out a couple of days ago.
       Apparently there was a big argument between them when she informed Kate that she had been servicing me the same way she did Robbie, and that Kate wasn’t falling for her bullshit anymore. She was also angry that Robbie had fallen for her lies and made Jen leave right at that moment. She must have stolen a set of keys to get back in to the house and deceive me even further with her pretence and sordid mind games.
      I took a big gulp of air before I made my confession. “But wait a minute Kate; I have to be honest with you about this. You see she isn’t lying about us; she did seduce me, but it 
was after Robbie left me and I had lost total control of my life. I had hit rock bottom and I wasn’t thinking straight. She meant absolutely nothing to me, it just happened!”
      That was the wrong time for me to confess my sins; Robbie had been standing in the doorway without us hearing her come in and heard everything that had stupidly flown out of my big fat mouth. She was appalled with the idea of me having any kind of intimacy with Jen, especially as she had given a lot of thought about us and was in the process of making it up with me. 
      The look of hurt was written all over her face and in a broken voice she said; “You’ll never change will you Sarah? Always getting what you want, you’re a heart breaker; I can’t believe that I doubted Jens lies. Only they weren’t lies were they?” 
      “Robbie I’ve changed, I’m not what you think I am.”
      “Oh just save it Sarah.” She barked at me. “I don’t want to hear anymore of your crap.” In the same instance I had won Robbie back and then lost her again, through foolish meaningless sex. She stormed out of the house and down the street and was gone. I was left alone with Kate, who by this time had built up a lot of sympathy for me. Her kindness had overwhelmed me and I wondered why.
      She explained that she too had faced matters with Jen in the past. That to this day she wasn’t sure of all the details with her and Robbie and that she didn’t want to know. It seemed that Jen had set out to destroy all relationships that Robbie encountered and succeeded in doing so and that she has been in love with Robbie, if that’s what you want to call it, since she first met her. 
      She told me that Robbie has been through hell with Jen, the constant phone calls, the stalking, the letters. That it had been going on for some time, but she thought it had actually died down lately as Jen was showing kindness and consideration. I now understood why Robbie was so untrusting; how it was better for her to marry a total stranger; someone who apparently couldn’t get hurt, but they did.
      I ended up staying for hours, and we ate dinner together as Kate cheered me up. She informed me that Jen had bragged with explicit details of my drunken sex scandal, and I was so ashamed because I’d blacked out I couldn’t remember half of it. Poor Robbie having to listen to that, it must have been quite hurtful. 
      As evening approached I thanked Kate for looking after me and then made my way home. 
Jessica had left several messages on my phone, asking how my meeting went with Robbie. When I called her back and explained everything I felt quite selfish to dominate the conversation; my best friend had just spent her first night as a married woman and we were talking about me. I eventually asked her how she was feeling, and she gave a giggle in a shameful manner and said she loved being married to Jake. That he saw to her needs before his own. One up for Jessica; he never gave me the full service; maybe he did have genuine feelings for her after all.
      “Was he like that with you?” She asked inquisitively.
      “Well umm, this is awkward.” I replied, wondering where this conversation was leading.
      She told me that it was ok because I had him first. So I let her know that sex with Jake wasn’t how it should have been. I never really cared how he got his rocks off because I was too drunk to care, and that I used him just like all the other guys I’d slept with. She commented that she thought I’d probably been a lesbian all my life and that I just hadn’t been aware of it until now. Thinking about it, I never did enjoy being touched by a guy and I definitely would never go down on him. Being with Robbie had shown me what I had been missing. And Jen! Well I have no fucking idea. 
      “What’s it like being with a woman?” She asked. “Or should I not be asking you that?”
      “Yes you can ask me that.” I told her. “It’s softer and gentler, and so affectionate each time is like making love for the first time.”
      “I am worried about you, are you happy with yourself, I mean really happy?” She asked.
      “I’m ok, I promise. I just miss the hell out of Robbie that’s all, she was my first true love, and I ache for her.” My heart was in pieces, but it wasn’t right to inflict that on my newly married friend. She was amazed to hear me talking with a softer tone in my heart, and how my attitude towards people and life had changed. She insisted that we go out together that night, which I questioned, as she’d only been married for one day. But she assured me that Jake was the one doing all the insisting. 
      “I won’t take no for an answer.” She sang down the phone. “Get your glad rags on babe and be ready for eight o’clock.” 
      Later that evening I could hear Jessica outside yelling from the street, so I went to the balcony to see what she was doing.
      “Sarah! Sarah! Say hi to Jake he’s just dropped me off.” She tugged at his arm while he sat in the car and encouraged him to play along with her.
      I leant over the railing and waved down to him and I could see an excited Jessica giving him a big soppy kiss through the car window before he drove off. I shouted out to him; “Thanks Jake I really appreciate this.”
      She didn’t stop waving until he was out of site, and then she looked up at me with big doe eyes, wearing a strapless red dress and holding a bottle of champagne in her hand.
      “What’s that in aid of?” I shouted down.
      “Oh why the hell not let’s celebrate everything.” She said in excitement. “Now let me in you slutty hag.” 
      We downed the champers as I finished getting ready, and then followed that with a bottle of chardonnay. The land of happy was upon us. As I completed my cool look, Jessica noticed how fit I was looking and gave my muscles a squeeze. 
      “God Sarah, you’ve got some pecks there haven’t you. I can see that working out really suits you. I’m impressed.”
      “Thanks.” I said as I gave myself a good look over. “I’ve put a lot of effort into getting my body physically fit. It helps me take my mind off things that I don’t want to think about.” 
      “So where are we going?” Jessica asked as she checked through my new wardrobe of clothes. “Can we go somewhere new and exciting?” I knew exactly where I could take her.
      “Yes sure, I know a place we can go, finish your drink and I’ll get us a cab.”
      As I’m paying the cab driver Jessica jumps out and the first thing she shouts in her drunken manner is; “Oh my God it’s a lezzie club!”
      I just shook my head and smiled, as this was a first for her after all.